Being Blind in a Christian Church

Note: The following views do not represent my view, but that of the one interviewed.

Beth is blind from birth and was raised Roman Catholic. She says Catholics helped with the poor, imprisoned, food etc. The Church even sent her food, during the pandemic. However, The disabled are often underconservatorships / guardianships, and thus, can't marry. This was the case with Beth, until 2020, when she was emancipated from it. Since the Church frowns on premarital sex, she says the relationship with her live in partner was a subject of ostracization. 

Beth was RC, then Muslim. The mosque was ableist, according to her. Then another church had all male leaders. She says a pastor called her a "whore", and "sexually deviant". She was voted out for living with her partner.

Beth claims disabled women are at a "high risk" of rape, because they are frequently not married to their live in significant others, and in  certain Christian communities, that makes them a prime target. 

Churches serve wheel chair users, but often not the autistic or blind. Her friend lost benefits, when married, so that was a warning sign for her. Beth had a commitment ceremony, not a legal marriage, because of her partner's health care being lost, if they did wed. 

Churches often think a blind couple shouldn't marry, further complicating the issue of marriage. Also, weddings are often expensive, and often, the disabled did not have family support of their marriage. 

Beth plans to have a baby. Nonetheless,  the church doesn't understand that they would end up in poverty, if they married.

The SSI rate in Denver is low for married couples. If Trenton, (her partner) and her don't have babies, they want to adopt. Marriage is sometimes required for adoption, and there is frequent discrimation against the blind. 

To support a potential child, she says, " A call center job just is not with enough benefits", so couldn't support baby. Family leave isn't good, so they couldn't get that, especially since finding a job is hard, for the blind. 

"Churches don't even want to serve disabled people." Beth and Trenton go to a Unitarian Church. "They want us to take mass transit, which is how we got bed bugs. All transit should be cleaned of bugs.l, but aren't, in Colorado." So the church helping with transit would help, both with attending services and church social events.

Inside church walls,  audio devotionals are often available, but not audio or Braille Bibles. Worship songs are on a screen, so are not accesible. 

In short, Beth says there needs to be an improvement in how churches treat the disabled. She has essentially left Christianity, because of the mistreatment she received.

Update

It's been a long time, so I figured I would do an update. 

I am looking for a new apartment. They are most likely selling the house I live in. 

I am blessed to have gotten Section 8, (a federally subsidised housing voucher) but it's hard to find what I want. I fear living in an area worse than where I now am. I have to stay in Elizabeth, but am wary of certain areas. It appears I can mainly afford the areas I want to avoid. But I have trust in God and patience is a virtue. I have until 12/12/21, exactly a month, to find a place. 

I go to a day program for behavioral health. I run the members group there, and work on the newsletter.

Isolation and Stability

Considering my bipolar, I may happy that I actually am remainder ng stable, with this Corona forced isolation.
But I give my hat off to those that need to isolate, and hate it.
I am grateful I can talk to people, using technology, in ways they couldn't in the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic. I am grateful I cam at least get out of bed. Breathe without a machine, and much more.
I think we can use this time appreciate all we have, and to reach out with a text or call, to those that are less fortunate.

Feeling my skin crawl.
Why me?
Why them?
WHY, GOD?

I feel I don't know up from down.
Forced to frown.
The past haunts:
recent and years ago.

Overwhelmed with conflicting
emotions pouring out.

Hurricane, rain, thunder,
lighting...
g.

Fighting for mindfulness,
radical acceptance,
self CONTROL.

Illness isn't an option.
I know I can be lazy,

I know my faults.
I know my strengths.

But...
I struggle to find...
and accept
my options.

A pretezel longing to be untangled.
String loose and bounding.
Tight as handcuff.
Resilient as the wind,
changing direction.

Not A Mooch

I don't work and am on Disability. This is not by choice. Especially recovering from two mental breaks. Newsflash: Both involve constant treatment and self care.
I didn't think of where to volunteer, and I knew my health wasn't well enough.  However, I now feel I am getting there.
I am applying to volunteer at a nursing home and at a hospital. I am becoming more active in library and community events. I try to attend physical activities at the YMCA. I am looking to POSSIBLY going back to  (very part time) work, and MAYBE class, one a semester.
On the current side, I clean, make (a lot of) phone calls, read, and am looking to learn how to knit.
I am attending a program that will finish soon. I socialize,  shop,  and more.
If I "mooch" from the government, I would like to know how.

My Views on My Mental Illness

If you have a physical disability people get it. With visual impairment; pain issues, and mental illness; not so much. MThain reason I have SSDI is because of my mental illness.
In the psych ward (I was there twice) it's not like you are meeting a bunch people like  the  homeless schizophrenic you often  see. Even if they do scream/hear voices, have a manic episode  and/or have a psychotic episode, most are just as normal as anyone. They are people, like me, that have simply lost their way in life.
However, we were subjected to glares and stares, from other doctors in the hospital.  We think we are overcoming stigmatizing. Nope. We have a long way to go.
Mental illness is just  an illness. To truly move forward, we need to realize that unless criminally insane, no harm is usually intended in a psychotic episode or manic episode.
Manic or psychotic eousides can be non violent. For example,  a person with mania (like me), could just go overboard with work, as in literally a few days and nights on a project. A stressed out person with psychosis may simply hear negative voices. With prescriptions, these symptoms can be controlled.
Meds can be both expensive and addictive. I recently had a SCARY Clonopin withdrawal, for example.
As many know, I am no addict. But I thought "as needed" had to mean all the time. Because I was so constantly anxious. 
Therapy can help. But it takes WORK. I am trying, myself.
Meds really are, unfortunately, a lifeline.
Just something to think about, when a friend says they have a mental illness.

Maracas

Big and shaken.
Rambling and chanting.
Am I right or am I wrong?
Why think this?
How and when do I move on?
Where am I headed?
Who I am I becoming?
Shake, shake, shake...